Upcoming Local TransFamilies Meetings for Parents and Caregivers:

Santa Cruz Meeting:
Saturday December 7, 3-5 pm
The Education Room of Calvary Episcopal Church
532 Center St, Santa Cruz, CA
Calvary Episcopal Church is an affirming church that welcomes people of all genders. TransFamilies does not have an affiliation with the church, beyond renting space for our meetings.

Watsonville Meeting:
Saturday, November 16th 3:00-5:00 pm
46A Brennan St, Watsonville, CA

If you have questions or concerns that need immediate attention before the next meeting,
call us at 831-205-0078 or email:

Monday, February 6, 2017

Taking Care of Me

I'm pretty good about taking care of others. I take care of my kids and husband, and I try to be a really supportive friend. I take a lead in our group and support any new parents of transitioning kids in any way I can. I take care of the clients I see in my line of work. Everyone tells me I'm a good caretaker. Despite being an experienced and dedicated caretaker, I am challenged when it comes to taking care of me. I hear this is a fairly common struggle for moms. We tend to give so much of self to others we often have nothing left at the end of the day to nurture and support ourselves.

Over the last two weeks there has been an unceasing stream of unsettling political news. The constant bombardment of information and opinions has overwhelmed me at times as I try to stay current, so it's no surprise I've seen my anxiety and fear shooting through the roof. I'm a mom. I'm concerned. The future for our trans kids is becoming less clear when it comes to their healthcare, human rights, legal protections, and inclusive opportunities. This is a long game, and I want to be on my A game to support my son, others, and myself if and when negative changes happen. For me that means stepping up my game when it comes to self care. 

I started making a list of what I could do, and asked the moms in our group what they are doing to take care of themselves during these times of growing uncertainty. It didn't take long before I had an extensive list of manageable, easy options for self care many of which can be done with kids making them that much sweeter. I'm excited to try each and every one of your ideas and suggestions.   

Collectively, here are some of the ways we take care of ourselves when needing a little support:

  • Schedule a spa day
  • Find a yoga class
  • See a movie (This is a personal favorite. I love the idea of temporarily escaping from all the negative stuff going on in the world right now by slipping off to watch a good movie.)
  • Read a book
  • Write in a journal
  • Enjoy a cup of hot tea or warm cocoa (I see myself pairing this one with book-reading or journal-writing.)
  • Call a friend
  • Visit the family
  • Hike a trail (I like to do this in the rain.),
  • Walk the dog (Pets need a break from their humans' stress, too.),
  • Attend a support meeting
  • Sing a song (This really helps one of our talented moms.)
Now, I can't sing to save my life, but just today I tried out that last one. I was in the car with my 18-year-old, and out of the blue I started singing "It's a Hard Knock Life" loud and proud making up a lot of the words I couldn't remember as I went along.  My son thought I was nuts, but I enjoyed being able to laugh for a few minutes and breathe deeply for awhile. I've set a gentle intention for myself to take a few minutes out of each day to either experiment with new self care options or utilize the tried and true methods I already know work for me. 

So, those are just a few ideas that everyone had for finding a little peace and giving  ourselves the love and support we need to get through troubling times. Please share in the comment section below how you are taking care of yourself these days. Repetition is welcome. It's the old saying, "If you want to take good care of the children, then take good care of the mother."  We need to take care of ourselves so we can be at our best when our children need us most.  

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